When Your At a Bachelor Party And a D&D Game Breaks Out

Recently I had the pleasure of joining a rowdy bunch of lads in Niagara Falls to celebrate the imminent nuptials of my friend James.  The best man, Tony, had carefully planned the days events and festivities based on a wishlist provided from the Groom months in advance.

It had your usual bachelor party staples of a steak dinner, heavy drinking and naked women taking their clothes off for money.  Tony shared with us on Facebook that one of the requests was “Larping”, which Tony then immediately shrugged off as a joke.  However, I knew how interested James was in D&D – his previous campaign only got three sessions in before it all fell apart due to the fact the DM wanted to be paid $60 for every game. It was apparent that the Groom was yearning for some kind of RPG encounter – it was clearly up to me to fulfill this cry for help.

I told the facebook group that I would bring my DM gear along with me in case James wanted to play D&D.  The first reply I received was from Groom’s future brother in law, which read “That’s the nerdiest thing I have ever read”.  I could feel the contempt through my computer screen, but I stuck to my guns.

The weeks passed, and suddenly the day was upon us.  I gleefully packed up my 5e books, printed off 10 different pre-generated characters and set off for Niagara Falls.  I met the group at the hotel, shook hands, failed to remember names and dropped off my gear in the corner of the room.  Tony walked up to me and asked me what all the stuff was for.  I told him I brought my DM gear in case James wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons.  Tony stared at me blankly, then uttering “I thought you were kidding”.

I didn’t miss a beat – “I don’t joke about D&D – besides this whole evening is about what James wants right?”  Suddenly from the other side of the room, James shouted “Are we playing D&D tonight?!”  His face immediately lit up as he ran over and took the Players Handbook from me.  I said I wasn’t sure if we’d have time, but I brought everything in case.  Stealing a glance at Tony you could see he was secretly hoping that the evening would be D&D free.

We all left the Hotel and trundled through the surprising afternoon heat to the Brazillian restaurant for the first event of the evening. With dozens of Goucho’s bringing unlimited delicious meats on sticks we’re unsure at what point the “heat sweats” turned into “meat sweats”.  About and hour after punishing ourselves with savory meats we, VERY SLOWLY, made it back to the hotel.  You could tell immediately the energy had gone down as we tried to digest our meal.

The next event wouldn’t be for another 2 hours, so we had some time to kill in the hotel room.  I suggested that we drag the desk in the corner of the room over and get a D&D game underway.  James immediately began rifling through the character sheets wanting first pick as I began to gather the party.  I had managed to find three players from the group, and as we all sat down, James beckoned for the Best Man to join.  Unable to refuse any request James would give him on his special day he begrudgingly sat down at the table.


So at the table we had a Warlock, Barbarian, Rouge(The Best Man), Paladin(the Groom) and a Fighter; all level seven.  I took out my graph paper and began to draw out a detailed subterranean room with wall placement not unlike an American Gladiator course.  And thus we began our Battle Royale.  I went into DM mode, my voice dropping a few octives as I explained after a blinding flash of light their characters found themselves in strange and unknown place.  When suddenly, a voice entered their head “*evil laughter* My champions! Welcome to my home, and for all but one of you, your final resting place.  I have brought you here to determine who shall sit at my right hand as the Champion of this realm.” After some more expositing we got to the point and I instructed them that they would not be teaming up to fight a creature and instead they would be fighting each other.

The order of attack was established and we were off.  After a few timid rounds, sadly the warlock was dispatched almost immediately with two crits against him.  All the players began ducking and weaving amongst the cavern, the Rouge was biding his time as the Fighter and Barbarian exchanged blows.  Meanwhile the paladin summoned a mighty steed in the opposite corner; because he could.  Sensing an opening the Best Man(Rouge) moved into the opening and with his first attack threw his dagger into the side of the fighter.

james2Now this is the part I wanted to get to in this story, because this is when things really turned around for Tony, our illustrious Best Man.  As I instructed him to take his second attack, he looked at me and asked “so….can I like…….. run up, pull the dagger out of him and then stab him with the dagger?”  There was a slight pause as a wide grin spread across my face.  I looked at him and said “You bet your ass you can!”  And it was at this moment I could see Tony’s preconceived notions to what DND truly was falling away.

The battle raged on for nearly an hour, the Fighter was the next to fall.  Then the Barbarian succumbed to her injuries as the Rouge and Paladin squared off.  While the Paladin had more HP and a great AC, the dice were not in the Grooms favor.  As Tony dealt the killing blow, he stood from the table with clenched fists held aloft, celebrating his victory.

Congrats on your win Tony, and remember – the first taste is free.

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